After coming across Stratejoy‘s Joy Equation on Doni‘s blog, I debated back and forth if it was something that I wanted to do. I knew that I could benefit from the course, from the journal prompts, etc. I wasn’t comfortable with the term “Quarterlife Crisis” when I first read it. I feel like I throw the word crisis around in my daily life more often than is necessary, but to have a real label on it? I wasn’t prepared for that. And then, something in my life changed and I decided that it was time. It’s time to address my personal version of the Quarterlife Crisis. It’s time to put the effort in to make sure my dreams and my reality are not worlds apart. It’s time to do something about the way that I feel.
Earlier this week, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Those are three words I have heard together many times, but until they were used to describe me, I didn’t realize their weight.
I have a disorder. How am I going to wrap my head around that?
In some ways, I was relieved. I understand now why my mind works the way that it works. I understand why I’ve never understood when someone tells me to just put something out of my mind. I understand why I can never stop worrying. Once one worry is solved and I’m in the clear, another immediately arises. I understand why I’m a glass half empty person. I understand why I’m restless. I understand why stress makes my heart feel like it’s going to explode out of my chest. I understand why it’s difficult for me to take deep breaths. I understand why I always have headaches. I understand why I’m regularly nauseous. I understand the dissonance between my outward expression and internal feelings.
This diagnosis lead me back to The Joy Equation. I read everything on the site, all of the testimonials, and listened to the first audio session. It was time.
Throughout the next few weeks, you’ll see occasional Joy Equation-inspired posts on my blog. Although the course is set up with a personal journal in mind, I have an accountability issue when it comes to my own mental well-being. In order to maintain accountability with the program, I may be occasionally taking the prompts that hit home the most to my blog after I address them in my adorbs Erin Condren journal (obsessed!).
I owe a big thank you to Doni, my former roommate/coworker for the blog posts that eventually lead me to Stratejoy. The first two prompts have shaken something within me and I can’t wait to see what lies ahead for the next 28 days.